Change Is The Only Constant.

Everyday I'm getting close to my future... although I am far from knowing what's to come for me and I have a little fear for the unknown. I've been waiting around for a letter to arrive in my mailbox for the past week, I am nervous with anticipation and I constantly check the mailbox and nothing has arrived yet. Leaving me completely frustrated but I guess I just need to be patience and good things will come for me.

What do you do when you have no words for someone when you don't want to apologize and you don't want to play nice and you want to use your fist. I'm by nature a loud, outspoken, sometimes obnoxious person. I don't know how much longer I can control my outburst from happening, but people tell me not to get involved and that everything will blow over.

I've been avoiding a lot of things that I should do a lot of bridges that I need to mend but frankly I don't give a damn and I'd like to leave them burned. But I know deep down thats wrong. I'm having trouble grasping the fact that the people I used to love and know have changed so much, but I guess I have changed as well. I've done a lot of stupid shit this past year and I've learned from the mistakes I made. But I have yet to apologize to some of the people I hurt. Sometimes I think they deserved it they hurt me worse, but I know that, that shouldn't be crossing my mind. But still I can't help it sometimes.

It feels like I've fighting round after round with myself about things and I've come to the conclusion that letting everything go would be the best thing for me. I know I'm leaving Iowa for good very soon, and why should I dwell on the things that go on around here when I'll be miles away making a life for myself and the petty people that have been trying to stomp me under their boot will be stuck around here. I've been dreaming a lot and my dreams have been amazing and filled with things that are bound to happen soon and in the future. I am so ready I can barely wait any longer for things to come together.

“Everything in life is connected somehow. You may have to dig deep to find it but its there. Everything is the same even though its different. Somehow everything connects back with your life. The faces in certain places may be different, but the situation is the same. Irony is a hidden factor that creeps around us in life, letting its presence felt only after it has left. Picture back to a year ago and the situation you were in. Look at how things are different yet somehow everything it still in someway cognate. Everything connects together to form the balance of life, to maintain structure. Change is and always will be inevitable, but everything is relative, and all the moments and times in your life will come back around again, you just might find yourself on the other side of the coin. Things are always changing, as fast as everything stays the same.”