Interview With The Dog

1. My life is likely to last 10 to 15 years. Any seperation from you will be painful to me. Remember that before you buy me.

2. Give me some time to understand what you want from me.

3. Place your trust in me. It's crucial to my well-being.

4. Don't be angry with be for long, and don't isolate me up as a punishment. You have your work, your entertainment, and your friends. I only have you.

5. Talk to me sometimes. Even if I don't understand your words- I understand your voice.

6. Be aware that however you treat me, I will not be able to forget it.

7. Remember before you hit me that I have powerful teeth, but I choose not to use them.

8. Before you scold me for being uncooperative, obstinate or lazy, ask yourself if something might be wrong with me. Perhaps I'm not getting the right food, or I've been out in the sun to long, or my heart is getting older and weaker.

9. Take care of me when I get old. You'll be old one day.

10. Go with me on difficult journeys. Never say: " I can't watch- it's too painful." Everything is easier when you are with me.

And through it all:

Remember that I love you.

Dogs are the greatest :)

Monster

I love this song and this band.

"Monster's are real. And ghost are real too, they live inside of us, and sometimes they win." - Stephen King

There's No Revenge Here. Love Doesn't Hate Back.

when hurt turns red and a piece of your heart is missing. when the cold bites deep and you've got that feeling like you just got out of surgery. when the only way to stay sane is to concentrate on anything else but how you feel. when you count the tiles in the ceiling. when you push the earphones closer. when the first day of winter arrives. when you remember every nuance of every word of every time. when all this happens. embrace it. feel every feeling. cry every tear. sob every sob. because this is what is feels like to have loved.

It's crazy how so many things change in little time. I've lost more things than I can count on both hands. But I've gained more knowledge. I've gained, as crazy as it sounds, more love. More love for myself and who I am. No longer am I bound by people's thoughts, words, or actions towards me. I've learned that the people that really matter won't hurt me and if they do they will always admit to it and apologize. I lost my heart and my insanity, in a matter of seconds. But I found it. I realized that I am stronger than I ever thought possible. I found that my family always has my back no matter how dark of a place I may be in and that they will care for me even when I don't get out of bed for days straight, or shower for long amounts of time or eat or sleep. They love me regardless of how screwed up I get. I realized that nothing is ever as it seems, and you can only wish so hard to have things go back to the way they where. No matter how hard I try to push something under the surface it will always fight its way to the top. I was astounded by my love of music and how it really can soothe an aching heart more than anything.

It's been a long past couple of months and I learned so much from them more than I believe I've learned in years of my life. So many lessons where taught to me from other people and also from myself. I still look back on past events and wish for a different outcome and wish that I wouldn't have let myself drowned in the undertow for so long when I know how to swim. And although I'm weary for my future and what's to come. I'm excited all the same there so much more for me to experience. There so much more for me than this podinky little town and hurtful surroundings. I've got a lot of work ahead of me but I know now that I have all the support and help from the people who matter the most in my life and they will encourage me and be there to see me succeed and prosper in this crazy thing called Life.

Death and Clean Underwear

“Sometimes when I can’t sleep, I picture my funeral and write eulogies in my head. In the fantasy, I almost always die in some tragic but unavoidable way. A drunk driver mows me down. Or a brain aneurysm. I make sure I suffer little, but die with courage and dignity and clean underwear. I like to think more about the funeral rather than how I die. Who would come? Who would face their fears of public speaking and get their ass to the pulpit? Who would decide that they had better things to do than to show up at all? I wonder if people would cry, and if there is anyone in the world who would hold the tears back for fear of never stopping.”
— Julie Buxbaum

Two Seasons in March.

It was one of those March Days when the sun shines hot and the wind blows cold: when it is summer in the light, and winter in the shade. - Charles Dickens

Live through this and you won't look back.

“Important events- whether serious, happy or unfortunate- do not change a man’s soul, they merely bring it into relief, just as a strong gust of wind reveals the true shape of a tree when it blows off all its leaves. Such events highlight what is hidden in the shadows, they nudge the spirit towards a place where it can flourish.”

- Irène Némirovsky - ‘Suite Française’

Band Of Horses

I cannot stop listening to this song it is so beautiful and true.

No One Is Ever Gonna Love You More Than I Do

Band of Horses

It's looking like a limb torn off
Or altogether just taken apart
We're reeling through an endless fall
We are the ever-living ghost of what once was

But no one is ever gonna love you more than I do
No one's gonna love you more than I do

And anything to make you smile
It is my better side of you to admire
But they should never take so long
Just to be over then back to another one

But no one is ever gonna love you more than I do
No one's gonna love you more than I do

But someone,
They could have warned you
When things start splitting at the seams and now
The whole thing's tumbling down
Things start splitting at the seams and now
If things start splitting at the seams and now,
It's tumbling down
Hard.

Anything to make you smile
You are the ever-living ghost of what once was
I never want to hear you say
That you'd be better off
Or you liked it that way

But no one is ever gonna love you more than I do
No one's gonna love you more than I do

But someone
They should have warned you
When things start splitting at the seams and now
The whole thing's tumbling down
Things start splitting at the seams and now
If things start splitting at the seams and now,
It's tumbling down
Hard

Things can change, friends can leave, and this life it doesn't stop for anybody.

I've finally re-started my journey. I was stalled for awhile on the side of the road. It was like I feel asleep in January and woke up in March. I was not here at all mentally, but I'm back and in full force, thanks to my family and close friends.

“Life will break you. Nobody can protect you from that, and living alone won’t either, for solitude will also break you with its yearning. You have to love. You have to feel. It is the reason you are here on earth. You are here to risk your heart. You are here to be swallowed up. And when it happens that you are broken, or betrayed, or left, or hurt, or death brushes near, let yourself sit by an apple tree and listen to the apples falling all around you in heaps, wasting their sweetness. Tell yourself you tasted as many as you could.”

— ~ Louise Erdrich (The Painted Drum: A Novel)